*This is my Girl to Girl post*

Last month while going through a tough time in my life I recived a lovely message from a girl who said something a long the lines of-

“…I met you at a show and you were too high and mighty to answer my questions and blew me off with one word answers WHILE YOU WERE WORKING. …. Blah blah blah…. Get off your petistool you stand on because you are no role model…. Words Words Words…. you take yourself and your job too seriously and I do not look up to you as a woman in the industry….”

I have spent a minute thinking about this statement and in my eyes it goes hand in hand with other questions about women in the industry being looked up too and over glamorized. Well, here it goes-

As a female in this scene you are put under a microscope. You are told to ‘think like a man, act like a tomboy around the bands and act like a lady at merch.’  BUT a man can act as they please with few repercussion. What I mean by this is-  When you see a man behind the merch table, 85% of the time you  assume he is going to be cut and dry, get to the point, no fucks are given type of person and if he is polite that is an extra bonus. But there is no standard going into buying merch from him. If a man answered with a sarcastic remark it would be ok, if a man told you too read the signs you would apologize and hand the money over, and if you went up to man behind the merch table and asked about touring and he said “Figure it out yourself” then blew you off, you might be mildly embarrassed but you move on.  But with being a woman the standards are different. You have to be kind, warm, willing to bend over backwards to please everyone or else you get called a bitch, get hate mail, or get fans talking shit about you online. Hell, I have seen and heard a few of my merch friends respond to questions while working (wether it be about the shirts/cd’s or jobs) that if I said would have me crucified in the town square… fuck, I get crucified if it is a rush, you ask for something we don’t have and I say the word “No” instead of taking the time to say “Nope, sorry, we don’t carry that anymore” with a fucking smile.  I am only me, I am sarcastic, dry, but I also bend over backwards to be overly positive towards all who don’t know me on that level, which is honestly exhausting. 

It feels like, in my eyes, like I (and my fellow female friends) have set the bar too high for ourselves. We answer questions online, we give out info, we try to be the best people we can be but if we miss ONE step, we are considered to be failures in the eyes of a few vicious fans who would kill to see us fired, hated on, and so on.

I am not perfect. I have many (MANY) flaws. I am not Miss. America *But I am far better looking with better hair… it’s all about lying to yourself ;-)*. I swear a whole fuck lot. I am not quite about my dislikes. And for that person that said ‘You take your job too seriously blah blah blah words words words’ YES,  I do take my job seriously, because you should take the things you love seriously. 

Just my late night thoughts.